Ever left your crying toddler in the Church nursery, or your Kindergarten student on the first day of school, or even a pre-teen at a summer camp? They look up at you with "Please don't leave me, Mommy" tears brimming, lower lip protruding, arms reaching out to for you to pick them up. You know there is nothing you can do; the time has come and you have to leave, but you feel a little nauseated. And the second you get to your car, you let the hot tears flow.

My last week in Nsoko felt just like that. I did not have a choice; I had to leave these precious little ones. They didn't understand, and in many ways, neither did I. They tried to crawl in my car after my final goodbye. I kept explaining over and over, that I was coming back, but everyone says that to them, and most never do.

Maternal instinct is a powerful thing; I still check on my all my kids in the middle of the night (even the ones that are taller than me!), and I think about the Children of the Dirt all the time.

I will be back with them in the middle of June, with a group of people broken for them and willing to give up time and finances to come and see them.

In the meantime, the Nsoko Project fund has run dry, and my mothers' heart is racing for these little ones. I know God will not let them starve; I know He will provide like He always does, but they are so far away. The same way I awaken with a start, wondering who in my home has kicked off their covers and might be cold, I awaken several times a night, and wonder what the community of Nsoko is facing today.

I wonder if Pastor Gift feels alone and overwhelmed. I wonder if Jumbo is beside himself with work, all of us knowing he will never give up, because he truly loves the kids. I wonder if the children are getting cold at night now that it is nearing winter in Africa. I wonder if anyone will check to see if they even have covers to kick off. I am counting the days to be with them, and praying for the floodgates of Heaven to open up over them.

My last meeting with the GoGo's, the elders, the Chiefs, and the teachers were also filled with tears and goodbyes. The one thing they all asked before Gary and I left was: "Please, don't forget us."

Back in America, I see the economy feels less than booming. I feel the stress as people strive to maintain the American dream, and I know that "giving" is down more than ever. I also understand that people feel overwhelmed. I am struggling with that myself since returning to this great and wonderful nation. I know my feelings are stronger for these little ones because I have held them, and I know their names.

I am blessed, I know. I am also selfish. I do believe that what we reap is what we sow. I often think we are so arrogant to think that our children would never be in that situation. Sometimes, I think "what if..." What if something did happen in our country: a plague, a war, a catastrophic event. What if we were all gone, except Noah, the baby of our family, or the baby or your family? What if our five year-old prince was suddenly alone on this earth? No parents, grandparents, brothers or sisters, just little Noah walking around vulnerable, alone, searching for food, exposed to the elements, scared, and prey for predators.

Would someone who didn't know him take him in, feed him, love him and protect him, simply because God commanded them to? Would a stranger make a sacrifice to save my baby?

See, my motives here? They are all someone's babies; they could be yours.

One in three Swazi women have suffered some form of sexual abuse as a child; one in four experienced physical violence, a new United Nations survey revealed.

The study by the UN Children's Fund (UNICEF) is the first of its kind conducted in a country where anecdotal evidence suggests an alarming number of female children are victims of abuse. More disconcertingly still, the mushrooming population of orphans and vulnerable children in Swaziland provide yet more opportunities for sexual exploitation to occur.

In two years, 200,000 Swazi children will have been orphaned by AIDS - more than one-fifth of the current population, according to UNICEF. With HIV prevalence at 33.4 percent among people aged between 15 and 49, the country has the world's highest infection rate. As a result, life expectancy has halved from nearly 60 years in the 1990s to just over 30 years today.

Read the rest of the article here.

1. To go there and hold some orphans. I can help arrange that.
2. To give your life away and live amongst the orphans as a mom or a dad.
3. To give money to support those who are doing something.
4. To care for orphans in some other place like India or Kenya that has a similar need.

Journal Entry from 5/5/07

I stand on solid ground refusing to go back to my old ways! How do I sustain this path? I guess much like how I sustained the other path; by the choices I make so shall be my reward of course. My reward is Him, God. I pray that God hears the oath of my heart. The oath that my lips cannot utter, nor will I try.

For in my past I have defiled my mouth by speaking lies with my tongue and speaking oaths before I understood the gravity of those oaths. God knows the oath of my heart and the purity from where it derives it meaning and purpose. My heart has yet to be defiled and has been made pure through the blood of my living God Jesus.

"Hear my oath, oh God - for I am yours!"

"There is a rhythm, a rhythm that belongs only to you. It has been playing my whole life. When I stumble across it I can look around and everything is made clear. The air seems fresh, the lighting is perfect, and everything is in its place, even what others perceive to be out of place I find you there. I find peace there and I find life there!

"I hear your rhythm O God! I hear the song of my life. How beautiful it is- beauty that nothing else can touch- I could listen to this tune all the days of my life- for I have found it again and it's just as sweet as the day I was born! I will follow it where it leads. I am yours and you are my prize. This rhythm is real and authentic, nothing like I ever heard but I've always known. It is THE truth, THE way, and THE life."

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." --Proverbs 16:9

Caleb is 11 years old today, and we are celebrating this young life all week!

For those of you that know Caleb you will smile as you read this - those of you that have not had the pleasure of hanging out with him, your time will come…

Caleb is huge for his age: 130 pounds, 5 feet, 4 inches tall - surprisingly enough his best friend Hayden Davis is exactly the same size.

Their balance and ability has not completely caught up with their size yet, but when it does, watch out! They are a wrecking force on the basketball court and football field already!

Caleb is our sensitive warrior. He has been beat up by his two older brothers for the past 11 years, (Michael used to drag him down the stairs by one leg), and he has been taught by his two older sisters about tenderness, gentleness and how to treat a lady.

He still kisses his mother and holds her hand, all the while protecting and keeping her safe. He understands at the tender age of 11 what it means to be a real man.

If you watched him in Africa with the orphans, you know exactly what I am talking about: he would play soccer with the boys, then sit them down and teach them about life; he really was amazing to watch.

He feels what is going on in the spirit; he has often come to Lisa and me in tears, not able to hold back his emotions and tell us what he is feeling for us, a brother, sister or friend. We weep together, pray and it lifts.

The other night, he spent the night at a friend's house. In the middle of the night the Lord woke him up and told him to pray over one of his buddies. The next morning the nine year-old boy that Caleb prayed over said to me: "Last night Caleb came over to me and laid is hands on my head and asked God to bless me and he asked God to stop the enemy's plan over my life - I felt so peaceful and slept really good!"

That's our Caleb. Happy birthday, son; I am so proud of you. Thanks for being my son.

We are back in America and adjusting slowly! Just wanted to thank you all for praying for us and financially helping us get home… still a little jet-lagged, but we found a "manageable" (four teen-agers to one bathroom) house on the east side of Colorado Springs, and are very excited as we became very close in Africa!

We are not sure how long the Lord will have us here, but we do know we are in His perfect plan.

It's an amazing adjustment from Africa to America - how fast your food comes when you order at a restaurant and how much food they bring you!

Driving on the "Right" side of the road - literally the first day was like being taken up in a whirlwind with the busyness of life here!

Caleb is on a basketball team and had many games; Tyler, with his broken jaw, is working at Salsa Brava restaurant, on a rugby team and working out the best he can with a football team. Michael was invited to play spring football with is old team and had his first two games and the girls are both looking for summer jobs and have very busy social lives… all in a few days!

Thank God Noah is only 5!

We are still praying for a miracle for Lisa's health and have doctor appointments lined up. She is just so happy to have doctors that speak the same language give us advice! We will keep you updated on what they recommend, we are still believing for healing as it had been a very hard season for her.

Our support has come pouring in and we are so thankful for your response! We need a couple more one-time gifts and need to raise our monthly support by just a bit to keep moving strong.

I am looking for a consulting job, or contract work to supplement our income, (NO MULTI-LEVEL PLEASE), so if you know of anything that I could do, please let me know ASAP! I have been the Vice-President and President of Sales for large telecom companies managing 350 sales people at a time, and have a great deal of experience in leadership development, international business and marketing.

My heart and lifelong passion would be to minister in churches, sharing the vision of Africa and what the Lord is saying to the Church world-wide. Right now, they have me scheduled for four international trips over the next three months training missionaries, establishing G42 Church planting sites and our Swaziland Vision trip in June... so, we need to continue raising personal support, creating wealth for our projects and bringing "Kingdom" to the market place.

As you pray for us and since anything, please do not hesitate to call or email.

If you would like to give monthly or a one-time gift, hit the Support Me! link to the left. And/or if you know of any opportunities for creating wealth, please let us know. Thank you, again and again, for your faithfulness and friendship - looking forward to catching up on your journey.

Just a reminder to order your Saints coffee - Brett brought some over to Africa and it really is the best I have had... so, help feed some children today and enjoy some amazing beans!

 

Saint's Coffee is a small-batch, micro-roaster offering specialty blends and unique varietals of 100% Fair Trade Certified™ and organic coffees.  But beyond being the freshest, finest, and fairest of them all—Saint's Coffee is transforming the lives of orphaned children by investing over 1/3rd of net profits from every sale into organizations helping children.

I met with Danny Seay and Tom Deuschle today; Danny is a friend of 18 years that has stood by me when very few have been there… Tom is a new friend, but challenged me today more then most have the balls to do.

Danny Seay, (be careful to click on his name; his gift from God will "Blow" you up if you contact him)! Danny is a treasure from God for my family; he knew me when I was well known, he knew me when know one else cared - and he has loved my weakness as much as my strength. I have only a couple friends like him.

Pastor Deuschle is an American that has been in Zimbabwe, Africa for 29 years - he seemed to understand me today… he has raised his family in Africa, done things wrong, but, in the last few years has learned Kingdom and how to empower everyone around him. Tom has raised million's of dollars for his work in Africa, most of it Africa money, not American! In a society with 500,000 % inflation, where a hamburger cost you thousands of dollars, where people have had to result to cannibalism; he has learned to thrive in Kingdom work - In our four hours together today I learned a great deal…

At the end of our time, Tom asked, "Gary what is your purpose? Wait, before you answer; not what is your anointing? Not what is your calling? What is your purpose, why were you born?!"

As we wept, laughed, and talked about our passions in life - orphans, widows, the next generation becoming fully alive - he stopped me and said:

"When you are in your Purpose, everything else will line up: finances, proper authority in your life, demonic people stopped. You are not an 'Echo' anymore; you are a Voice! This last year in Africa was so God could give you His eyes for the orphan and give you your message for a generation. As Elijah in 1 Kings 19 quieted all the other voices in his life by pulling a cloak over his ears, it's time in your life to hear the voice of God and live your purpose."

"Gary, what is your purpose?" He challenged me.

I responded: "I was born to create wealth for the kingdom of God, raise up a million-orphan army and release a generation into their destiny. It's not what I do, it's who I am; it is my Purpose in life, and it has and will cost me everything."

"Good," pastor Tom said. "Now, go do it and find the people that will do it with you; they are your family, they are those that will invest in you, they are your covering, and they are your sons and daughters."

Can I ask you the same question? What is your purpose?

So it is such a privilege to assist them in this process. When we first started the World Race, I thought that it would be a year and then they'd move along in life, leaving me to process some new group. The surprise for Karen and I is that we can't let them do that!

During the course of a year as we watch them press in to the growth process so intensively, we begin to fall in love with them. And by the end of the year, many of them feel more like sons and daughters than they do like participants in some program.

So as we become enmeshed with these young people, our lives are being changed, just as their lives are changing too. I was born to build things and manage things - that's been my identity for much of my life.

But these kids are turning me into a softer version of that person who listens to stories and gives hugs and even weeps when they're going through a hard time.

It's disconcerting and awkward sometimes, as most deep change usually is.

If it were just a debrief or two, it wouldn't happen, but when we help launch them at training camp, hang out and comment on their blogs, pray them through their crises, and fly around the world to meet them counsel them and encourage them in who they're becoming, it's just an inevitable thing.

Some of you empty-nesters out there need to try this ministry - it will wreck you. You can start by reading their blogs here.

If you're a young person or you know someone who needs to do the World Race, go here to apply. It literally takes one minute...

I have what I consider to be great relationships with my kids, but here's my report from the other side of this transition: Each of them has, of their own initiative, come to me to debrief some painful aspect of childhood that I unwittingly had a part in. The sad part is, I was clueless about it and they had never wanted to hurt my feelings.

Each came to me and said, "Dad, I'd like to talk to you about something when you've got time." Internally I thought, "Gulp, here it comes - all that effort over the last 18 years and still I have failed my kiddo in some way." But I gathered up my courage, realizing that, if it was hard for me, it was probably even more difficult for them.

So here's what I would do differently and here's my advice: If you're a parent approaching the empty nest phase of life, let me suggest you brace yourself for and even initiate this debrief, making sure it's thorough and honest. And it will probably be easiest for everyone if you will search your heart and ask God to show you any pain that you have caused them.

If you want your child to make a good transition, it is essential for you to own any pain that he or she has stuffed. The temptation is to defend or explain your bad parenting. Let me be clear: Do not do this! The conversation will probably feel extraordinarily tender for both of you, but as the parent, you have always had the power and now must use that to help them move thru their pain and into a new phase of autonomy.

Specifically this means you need to repent to your child not only for anything you did that was hurtful and wrong, but anything that they took in the wrong way as well. That's where I messed up - I simply had no idea. Remember, this transaction is not about you; it is about helping your child to leave the nest with as little baggage as possible.

Actually, I probably got lucky. My kids initiated our debrief. This may not be the case for many of you. Because your child finds the whole subject supremely awkward and does not trust you to shut up and take your lumps, you have the delicate task of trying to make it safe for them.

Probably the only way to do this is to make a list of all the ways that you may have hurt your child and repent to them for it.

Depending on how deep the pain you caused and how frigid the atmosphere in the room, you may need to begin by writing a letter to your child. The point of the letter is to create the possibility of a conversation where you repent as completely and clearly as possible. If you bobble the ball and give even a hint of defensiveness or manipulation, you may delay the process for a year or two. My advice to you fathers is, be a man and take your lumps.

To get you thinking, here's a list of things you may need to repent for:

1. If you disciplined them out of anger.
2. If you neglected them at some point as they grew up.
3. If you yelled at them or abused them in some way.
4. If you failed to love your spouse as you should have.
5. If you didn't protect them adequately (from pornography, from violent video games, from the opposite sex, from family members, from abuse).

This list could go on and on. The point is, you want to help launch your kid out into the world well. But, given what's happened to them that you may be ignorant of, it's going to be hard - it will require a lot of you. I recommend taking a day to fast and pray. Ask God to reveal anything you need to repent for in their upbringing. Review each phase as thoroughly as possible with God. Write down in a journal anything he shows you. Then, follow through and release your child of their baggage. It will be the best graduation gift you ever gave them.

This is from one of our World Racers Aaron; this is the way it works!