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Disclaimer: This blog series is to be read in “whole” or as a “norm”. I am very aware that in every generation we have amazing people that overcame and did amazing things. You may even be one of those people. If you read this series from your “false-self” or ego self, you could possibly be offended. If you read this from your “true-self”, from your eyes for the world, then I can almost guarantee you will be inspired! 

My heart is to see a generation set free and living fully alive. As the older generations, we must take responsibility for what we imparted as a whole, and serve the young people around the earth with passion, discipline and the Father’s heart. As a young generation, you must come out of the “victim circle” and take responsibility for your own lives and the lives of those around you.

                                     Every generation is responsible for itself.  

For generations now we have compounded a spirit of fatherlessness– more commonly referred to as an “orphan spirit”— that has increased with each new generation. It is a spirit that first manifests itself as a victim and tells us that “it is everybody else’s fault.” As I have immersed myself back into these millennials’ hearts and lives, I can tell you this orphan spirit is more rampant than ever. 

As a whole, my father’s generation was characterized by workaholics. They were absent emotionally because they had no idea how to be emotionally connected.  No one ever showed them. They were over-disciplined, so they over-disciplined. Many were distant and many anesthetized their pain with excessive drinking. So many of our fathers from my generation did the same. The cycle of orphan spirits deepened.

My own mom and dad were raised in dysfunctional homes: divorce, suicide, abandonment, alcoholism, etc. My parents were left with much to overcome, but not with much coaching or examples of how to do it.

Like most parents, they did the best they knew how. 

They overcame the generational curse in our family of divorce. They overcame their families’ generational curses of alcoholism and physical abuse. Still they were left with a hole of not knowing how to speak identity into the three of us children. My father did not know how to emotionally connect. Instead the mantra around us was, “do what I say or get disciplined”. 

For many years my dad did not know how to emotionally enter our lives and say, “I love you”, “I am so proud of you”. Growing up he had never heard that from his own father. He knew how to tell other people how great we were, but still he could not stop and tell us directly. 

Thank God, when I was around sixteen years old, everything changed. I was kicked off the basketball team for bad grades, but I knew he would not find out because he never came to any of my games. He was always working. Until one game, he happened to pop into the gym and saw me sitting behind the bench in street clothes!

I just remember him saying, “Get home now.  We have a lot to ‘talk’ about!”…Talking meant I was going to be disciplined, and discipline was not a gentle thing. (More to come in on this story in my next blog—a story of healing for both of us unfolded that night!).

The point is even though my parents overcame many of their generational curses, it did not break them in my brother, sister and me. We have all three gone through divorce, emotional abuse, and alcohol has destroyed my brother’s life. We have had to deal with suicide and abandonment. We are personally responsible to press in and allow God to break the curses over our lives.

Generational curses are familiar demonic spirits that torment every family, and we must take authority over them. Generational curses were broken over every one of our families because as Galatians 3:13 says; “Christ redeemed us from the curse by becoming a curse for us.” He redeemed us that we might have the blessing, not the curse. 

However, I do believe we must receive in faith that the “curses” over our families are broken, and we must walk into victory over them. It is a choice we have to make for ourselves for our children, and for their children.

The only sin that is carried beyond the 3rd and 4th generations of our family is the sin of “illegitimacy”. Deuteronomy 23:2 tells us the only sin that goes to the 10th generation is fatherlessness—aka the orphan spirit. 

This curse of fatherlessness and an orphan spirit sits on a whole generation in a massive way. We must get to the “why,” and we must get to some answers. Traditional Church and our government are making it worse, and the way we do education certainly does not help. 

Today, we are perpetuating the problem, not overcoming it. I believe strongly the answer to breaking this cycle starts with our young men… 

(To be continued in the next blog!)

(To read more on generational curses and sowing and reaping, click here).

6 responses to “Boys to Men; Multigenerational”

  1. I can so relate to your experience of growing up. Never had a father that said he loved me. I am changing that in my generation.

  2. Thanks for dedicating your life to raising up the men (including me!) in my generation! There is a remnant. I’m grateful for guys like you to partner with in the effort.

  3. Gary, I really appreciate the balance you’ve been writing with lately. You walk a great line of vulnerability with candor.