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Taken from parts of a few different Chapters in “Making Men”:
…On a side note on the cyclical nature of fatherlessness and divorce, I want to speak briefly to the way our children have unlimited access to information beyond our knowledge. With access to endless data on mobile phones and unregulated internet access, our young boys begin looking at porn in elementary school or even before.
I have heard parents dismiss this as “normal behavior” and “part of puberty” that their sons will outgrow, but the data seems to be pointing the opposite direction. The divorce rate continues to climb. Pornography may not be the singular culprit, but if a young man starts looking at naked women before he even meets his wife, he has filled his mind with visuals far outside the scope of his future wife. He has grown accustomed to something outside monogamy—something at his disposal that answers to each of his whimsical desires and his momentary preferences.
The divorce rate continues to grow partly because most of our boys are already used to cheating on a girlfriend or wife far before they begin dating. Porn is stealing the purity and sanctity of what true covenant is.
A few of the differences between what boys do and what transformed men do… we have over 40 so far;
These differences are of course what little boys do; I am speaking to those that need to grow-up, and become men. If you are 12 or 70 and are acting like any of this below, it’s time to start the walk into transformation.
What Boy’s do What (Transformed) Men do
Leave their rooms a mess First thing everyday, bed is made
(If we can teach them the little things, like instead of looking at their phone first thing in the morning, wake-up, make your bed, clean your room, and do your devotional. If they have a bad day, at least when they come home their bed is made.)
Walk through a door and not hold it open Make sure the door is held open
(Son, if you are the first person to the door, or if you are just walking alone, or and especially with your mother, you open the door and hold it open and make sure everyone goes in before you, period.)
Talk back to their mother Listen, and do what she asks
(Boys fight and argue mostly with their mom; my mother was the only safe place for me, so I took advantage of her. Men say “yes ma’am” and do what they are asked.)
Pee all over the toilet seat Sits down if he has bad aim
(Clean the bathroom when you are done; your mom or wife were not born to clean up your crap, literally. Stop, take a few minutes and make sure you leave it better than you found it. And, always put the seat up and put the seat back down!)
Borrows and disrespects Borrows and brings back better
(If you borrow something, an x-box, a car, sports equipment, whatever; bring it back better than when you got it! Wash the car and fill the tank to full.)
Bullies and overpowers Protects and defends
(In an attempt to control his environment a boy reverts to bullying and trying to overpower people in his life. A man knows how to protect and will always defend the poor, the widow and the orphan. The man never has to defend himself.)
Builds just his muscles Builds his spirit, soul and body
(Boys love to appear stronger and better than everyone else. They love the gym and how it makes them look. The man knows that the gym is just part of his discipline; he knows that to thrive in life he must grow his spirit, his soul and his body.)
Disrespects women Honor the gift that they are
(Women are a gift from God; when you look at pornography, when you talk back to your mother, or if you talk bad about them, you are saying women are an object. Open the car door, put your coat on her back, speak life to her when she is yelling at you. A man would NEVER hit a women, only little boys do that.)….
Love to make others look bad Confront and Sharpen you
(I have friends in their 40’s and 50’s that still act like little boys, they are stuck in the first half of life. They love to “Tattletale” and talk about people. Men will look at your weaknesses, your blind-spots, your failings and they will speak directly to you about them and they will do it with humility and strength so that is sharpens you. Men always make you a better human, boys will always talk behind your back…)
And we will continue with “Making Men”…