In the mid 1990’s I was privileged to be part of a distinct
move of God. We watched the power of God, on many occasions, show up in many
different ways. People were delivered from evil, physically and emotionally
healed on a regular basis; we had encounters with angels and demons. It was a season of what I can best describe
as “Power, not mere words” as Paul would say in the book of Acts.
My three boys, Tyler, Michael and Caleb were very much a
part of it. They watched things happen that most of their friends have never
seen. But, it was gone by 1999 and we
have not touched the same experience since. In 2006 I asked the boys, and their
two sisters and new little brother, if they would pray about moving to Africa
and helping orphans. I purposely stayed
back from each of them, as I did not want to influence their decision, (I have
been known to that time to time!). It took a while for them to tell me “Yes” or
a loud “NO”, you can read their stories here. In
the end it was a “Yes” from all of them.
Coming back to the USA after Africa was the hardest season
of our lives. The kids felt lost, Lisa and I felt lost; we were alone, and a
bit dazed. Church became unattractive as we had seen so much in Africa. One of my older kids said it best, “Dad, you
expect us to go to youth group and jump up and down? We can’t”! I was watching my family become disillusioned
with so much. And, it was my fault. I know it has been over used, but I did
feel like William Wallace in the movie Braveheart when he removed the mask of
one of the guys that was
supposed to be fighting with him, to find he was
fighting against him; Wallace lay in the middle of the battle field, depleted
and empty…
To be honest, we are still a bit disillusioned and for sure
in a daze. Five years later and we have now lost one of our shining stars. When
I received the call at 1:30am April 17, that my son was dead, and that he died
in a very brutal way, I knew. The “Authentic” that he experienced as a boy –
the reality of Africa and how people live in so much pain and poverty, and most
of what we do for them on this side, makes it worse. Drugs, confusion, Church,
parties, are ALL the same to this generation. They were all a dead end.
I believe we have a whole generation that feels like Michael
felt. They have watched our leaders, politicians, pastors, Hollywood, and a lot
of parents make promises, and then live a life full of secrets and deception. Almost
every leader that Michael grew up with, fell in sin. As his dad, I became
apathetic and laid down my sword. There was a part of me that stopped warring
for my family and for a generation.
We have an overmedicated, narcissistic, disillusioned,
generation that is looking for an answer. They just want something real, and I
promise you, they will run to it and be free once they taste it! We are about
to see another “Movement” hit these kids, are we ready to pick up our swords
and never lay them down again? Or maybe
that question is just for me??
Gary,
I am Tyler’s step father and want to express that I know how you are feeling. I lost my brother, Shawn, in 2002 due to many of the items that you listed in your blog. Since that time, I have watched my parents go through a great deal of anguish to understand how they could have lost him.
My families faith have brought peace to our lives. We now that God’s plan for my brother Shawn had been fulfilled as hard as that is for us to accept.
Nothing I can write can make anything you are experiencing any better but I do know that our Lord will never leave or forsake us in our darkest moments. Robin and I have you and your family in our prayers. I look forward to the day we can meet but in the mean time, please know your hurt is our hurt and you are not alone.
Your Brother in Christ
Michael Porter
Yes and amen!! Lets continue the fight. I picked up my sword in Swaziland the month I met your family. I won’t put it down because of the faith of your family. Thanks Black!
Dad this is amazing. love you.
Yet the amazing thing about Wallace and about us is that, in the end, we win. I hate being at this stage and I especially hate how you, like Wallace, have seen all that was good put to death.
We win. Michael’s pain and Baby Moses’ pain and the pain of so many innocents will be redeemed. Good will beat evil and a great “hallelujah” will erupt from those who seemed impotent and mute.
And till then, there is the love that we who are left carry in our still-beating hearts for one another.
I believe with all my heart that as the dark gets darker, the light gets brighter. I believe that this generation is in a great position for a breakthrough because the gray is disappearing. It is pretty obvious when you look at the world today that something isn’t right. Even a generation that hasn’t been taught about righteousness and God’s laws can see that something isn’t right. They know it. They just don’t know what the alternative is.
I absolutely believe that when we show them Jesus, He will be irresistible. And I’m not talking about churches trying to draw people in by appealing to their culture. Quite the opposite actually. If what they had worked, they wouldn’t need to look for something else, so why would they look for a different version of what they already have? They are looking for something different.
When we have the courage to stand up and represent Jesus, to live a Jesus, and let Jesus live through us, it will be so different from what is their norm, that I believe they will be drawn to truth. I do believe they are hungry and looking for answers. We need to stop appealing to their minds and start captivating their hearts.
Hello Gary, I guess I don’t know exactly what to say. I have just stumbled upon this blog, after all of these years and have just read a bit of the story of the loss of your son. I am very sorry to hear this, and greave though I did not know him. I pray that God would give each of you a supernatural peace and strength, Gary. The reason, I wanted to write this and even searched your name, was because I wanted to thank you. In 1996-1999 I attended, and gave my life to the Lord at RTN. A hunger and passion for Jesus was poured into me there, that was not based around a youthful hype, but sheer encounter with Holy Spirit. I have had conversations with a few of the RTN leaders over the years, but never had a chance to thank you. I have been a youth pastor for 9 years now, and still burn with the fires that were lit in those days, and am hungry for God to get a hold of this generation. Thank you for being apart of fathering that movement Gary, for as long as you did. Thank you for the brief moments in my history that you were involved in, that remain tattooed on my heart and ministry. I do not however, want to be satisfied only with what was done, but I long to look forward into the future. I want to stand with you in the dream for the fresh movement this generation desperately needs.